Sure has been quiet here as of late. I guess we only want to talk about sports when either a) it is baseball season or b) our favorite football teams AREN’T ALL COMPLETELY FALLING APART ON US (well except for Jay, really he has no excuse…unless he really doesn’t love the Patriots…)

Anyways, where was I? Oh that’s right! I’m going to Las Vegas this week. I love Vegas. Really, I do. I have in fact been there 8 times previously (officially making it my most visited city that I don’t actually live in…not counting Vancouver BC which I have visited more probably but only because in College it was a short ride for beautiful underage drinking…although kids, you should only drink when you are of legal age…winky face.)

On a blog for a sketch group that no longer exists (frowny face) I once detailed the many depressing exploits I have enjoyed/regretted in the city of sin. I’m too lazy to actually post a link to any of those entries but I’m sure if you google “cory nealy” and “sad little life” you should be able to find them hidden somewhere in the internets. I never got around to detailing the exploits of my last trip (a trip spent enjoying the company of [some of] THE GREATEST SKETCH COMEDIANS EVER IN HISTORY!) but suffice to say it went about how you would expect:

• puking on self while at craps table at a place called “Terrible’s?” check.
• peeing in the canals at The Venetian? check.
• giving a man of questionable drug dependencies $40 in protection money? check.
• spilling maple syrup all over myself at 5am? check.
• breaking the sun roof of a stretch limo? check.
• losing bets on every game in the Final Four, spending three nights in a row throwing money at the craps table while too drunk to really know what was going on AND falling into a pit of blackjack frenzy at $25 a pop YET still coming out $300 ahead on the entire trip? CHECK!

All in all a good trip and that isn’t even counting the night we all watched QUITE POSSIBLY THE GREATEST BELLAGIO FOUNTAIN SHOW EVER, choreographed to Lee Greenwood’s “Proud to be an american (god bless the usa)!” (sniffy crying face)

I will be there for three nights starting wednesday the 29th. If all goes well I will keep a journal of my adventures and post updates here when able (i.e. sober). I plan to do more sports betting this time than ever before as I will be there for Thursday night’s NFL game (who should I take?) as well as a couple of Gonzaga games and a host of NBA games. And my three favorite things are watching sports, drinking and gambling. Oddly enough you can do all those things in Las Vegas. Amazing.

Hopefully soon I will have a story that begins like this:

“So I woke up at noon pissed to find out my wallet was completely empty from the previous night, only to become over enjoyed seconds later to feel my pants pocket bulging with over $200 in chips from The Riviera…only problem is I don’t remember ever going near The Riviera last night…wait a second…these aren’t even my pants…rad…”